Editors: Perian, Xara.
Primary Reporter: Ivy Brandybuck.
Chief Corespondent: Prongs.
Contributor(s): Fan, Huan, Rob, Angel
In this issue:
The Non-Racism Rant by Xara.
Living in a Fantasy World by Perian.
Arwen Evenstar by Angel
Bring on the Orcs! by Prongs
Eomer the Heightist by Xara.
Nienor Niniel by Huan
Arwen...Eowyn...*rolls eyes*...Whatever! by Angel
In every issue:
Fanfiction: This Fortnight:
Doesn't it just make your blood boil when every now and then
one of these newspaper articles turns up with some so-called expert claiming
Lord of the Rings is a racist book/movie? Every time one of these turns
up, every self respecting fan of Lord of the Rings will of course, automatically
go into rant-mode and explain forcefully all the reasons why this is absolutely
and completely not in the least bit true. Well, I think we shouldn't have
to explain it to these silly people, we should save our breath for more
important matters. And so, I shall hereby rant once and for all on the
subject and let that be the end of the matter.
Firstly, Lord of the Rings is very much anti-racism because the Fellowship of the Ring is a symbol of multi-culturalism. In the Fellowship we have the union of many different previously estranged races and cultures working together for a similar goal. Each member of the Fellowship has his own part to play in achieving their goal, and without each individual of the Fellowship their cause would have been lost. Does this say something to you? Does it perhaps suggest to you the value and importance of different races and cultures and encourage different cultures uniting and working together? Because, strange as it may seem to some, that's the message I'm getting.
Lord of the Ring's condemnment of racism is personified specifically in Legolas and Gimli. Here are an elf and a dwarf, members of two races which are openly untrusting towards each other and display prejudiced views against each other. When Legolas and Gimli first meet, they too a rather prejudiced towards each other because of the races to which they belong, however by the time they leave Lothlorien, their friendship can be rivaled only by that of the hobbits. Does this not send out a strong anti-racism message? Does this not convey the impression that such racial prejudices are unfounded and can and should be set aside?
And now we come to the main argument that Lord of the Rings' critics use. The skin-colour of the orcs. I say firstly, can you imagine an orc taking a bath? Is it possible that the explanation for this is that they simply don't wash very often? But even so, we all know that skin-colour doesn't matter, even the orcs know that. As some of the critics failed to notice, orcs come in a range of colours including brown, pink, green and pale. Now, that aside, I would like to remind everyone where the orcs originally came from: elves! That's right, the most high and noble of all the races of Middle Earth is what these foul creatures were originally. Obvious the critics were too busy looking at Lurtz's dirty appearance to listen to Saruman when he explained this. Now, considering that the most evil of all the creatures of Middle Earth have now been proved to originally be the most pure, does this not say that all races of Middle Earth, even these immortal beings, have an equal potential to be corrupted to evil? Does this not say that in fact no race is better than any other race as they all have the potential to become orcs?
And now for men. It has been said that the Easterlings and Harradrim men are again an example of racism in Lord of the Rings. It has been said that the fair men of Gondor are portrayed as being superior to any other race of men. But you will notice a group of men who fight alongside the Easterlings, Harradrim and the orcs, known as the Corsairs of Umbar. Now, if any of these people who argue that LotR is racist had bothered to look for facts to back up their arguments by reading the Appendices they would have discovered that the Corsairs of Umbar who are classed as 'badies' right alongside everyone else, are actually men of Numenor and Gondor gone bad. Does this not say that the Men of Gondor have an equal chance of falling into corruption as any other race of men? Is this not again, a message that is quite the opposite of racism?
We all know that, however accepting our society may be, racism still exists today. But we also know, that of all the places to look for it, Lord of the Rings is not one of them. Claims of racism against Lord of the Rings are not properly researched and can easily be disproved. They are no more than a case of tall-poppy syndrome. So next time someone claims LotR is racist, here are all the arguments that will knock them flat and save your valuable time for less ridiculous matters.
Visiting a foreign country or city will inevitably lead to a
meeting with the local bugs and animals. On a trip to New Zealand, one
can expect to encounter wetas, a face-to-face meeting with an orc or an
uruk is common in Middle Earth and, when camping out in the desert, expect
to have a scorpion crawl across your hand. So, what scary creature would
one be likely to come across in Toronto? Squirrels. Yes, you read correctly;
squirrels -- small gnawing animals with bushy tails. Sure, they sound cute
and, in most cases, they are cute -- but all bets are off when it comes
to Toronto squirrels! These creatures are strange; they show no fear; they
intimidate people who walk through the park; they even have the gall to
Three years ago your reporter, while reading in the park, noticed a squirrel staring at a woman who was eating cheesecake. Being incredibly kind, this woman offered the squirrel a small piece of her cheesecake. You'd think that the squirrel would be satisfied with this offering, but no! Unbeknownst to the woman, the squirrel crept forwards stealthily, inching its way towards the prize. Suddenly, it jumped into the plastic dessert container, causing the woman to scream and drop her oh-so-delicious cheesecake! Sigh.
Perhaps one would think that this reporter is just being prejudiced against squirrels because of her love for cheesecake but this is not true. These squirrels have been known to enter dorm rooms via open windows to steal ... well, anything and everything. Your reporter should know ... she had two pass keys stolen this way -- the second time she found a squirrel on her desk where her card was.
Perhaps these squirrels are not ordinary squirrels -- perhaps they are mutant squirrels! Mutated to have no fear! Whatever it is, they are dead scary! Bring on the uruks and the orcs of Middle Earth any old day -- just get these creepy squirrels out of here!
Arwen Undomiel, or, also known as The Evenstar. What is the first
thing you think of when you see or hear 'Arwen'? Are you one of those who
despise her, because she took up too much of Eowyn's spotlight? Or are
you the one who loves her for her beauty and faith? OR, maybe you don't
even take any notice of her, and see her as 'just another character'.
Whichever one you truly are, or whatever you may think, read this article and tell me if you changed any little bit of your viewpoint at all.
For years, especially after the first of the three films were made, there has been the age old debate of 'Arwen or Eowyn'? For those with little LotR wisdom, or those who are just plain ignorant, they would think Eowyn and Arwen are the same, and that one is 'better' than the other. For those of us who actually have researched enough into both characters, we know that we should see both characters separately.
Eowyn leads a totally different life to Arwen. She was a shieldmaiden at heart and was brought up alongside men. She wanted to show what she was capable of and wanted to fight. She gave us the 'girl power' theme through the movies. Her story ends happily, with a love deep and true. We can see Eowyn as 'our heroine' in the face of war.
But, Arwen, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. She has more of a 'behind the scenes' role in the trilogy. She's an elven princess with such faith we have never seen before. Her life was a romantic story, from beginning to end. But her love story was also very sad, yet beautiful.
She has fallen in love with Aragorn, a mortal man. It was rare for a mortal to wed an elf, and it was Arwen's legacy to follow in Luthien's path she carved long ago. If you research thoroughly into their lives and their love, you will see how haunting Arwen and Aragorn's love story was. Their love sets the 'romance' part of the trilogy, even the Eowyn - Farimir fans have to admit that! The reason why Aragorn never gave up his hope, was because he knew he would win the battle and finally live the life he had been dreaming of since he first met Arwen in the forest. Arwen, we see, shows great faith in the movies, in her love and for Aragorn.
Their last meeting before Aragorn went to war, and had a possibility to never return, was on top of Cerin Amroth. There, they made a vow to each other. Many years after that day, after King Aragorn and Queen Arwen shared many happy years together, and Aragorn soon passed away; Arwen went back to Cerin Amroth, and laid herself there on the green bed. There, passed Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of her people.
I ask you all to read The Tale of Arwen and Aragorn, and you might understand better of what I just wrote. Now that you may know a little more on her life, you must tell me now. Has your viewpoint changed a little at all?
It had been a week since Merry and Pippin had arrived, and there
was no sign of any attack or even a threat from the people in the south.
The two hobbits had become bored (if that was possible in Minas Tirith)
and had given up hope of being needed at all. They made ready to go back
home, both of them slightly disappointed and angry they were called to
make so long a journey for nothing.
"Well, that's the end of that!" said Pippin happily.
"I'm going hoooome!" Merry sang, dancing around the room.
"You're certainly no-"
"Master Merry! Master Pippin!" one of Eomer's men burst in. "The pirates have attacked Edoras!" He ran back out without another word. Merry and Pippin only looked at one another and followed. They burst into the audience chamber to a flurry of excitement. They stood amidst very tall people in armor, blinking up at them and not quite sure of what to do.
"Merry! Pippin!" Aragorn shouted to them and pushed his way through all of the people. (Not that he had to do much pushing, since everyone moved out of his way anyway.) "You heard?"
"We heard." Pippin confirmed.
"Listen, they're heading this way next." Aragorn said calmly. "You both know how to swim?"
"What?!" Merry asked. "Why would we need to swim?!"
"Just answer! Can you?"
"Well, I can't..." said Pippin quietly, bowing his head.
"I can." Merry said, glancing over at Pippin.
"All right. Merry, you have four, maybe five days to teach Pippin to swim."
Pippin's head shot up. "I don't want to learn to swim!"
"You don't have a choice." Aragorn told him.
"Let's just do it and not ask questions, Pip." Merry suggested. "Is there anything else we can do, my lord?"
"Not at this time. Eomer has ridden back to Edoras, as his men made an attempt to stop the pirates, but failed. He needs to survey the damage. He asked that you handle Rohan's affairs while he's away, but that shouldn't be a worry." With that, Aragorn strode off to see to the defense of his city.
Xara: You are trekking through the wilderness when you come upon two
little hobbits being harassed by a rugged looking ranger! What do you do?
Prongs: Ooh la la, so he's a rugged looking ranger is he? Is he scruffy also? Well, in that case ... I would look this fine ranger up and down ... strike a pose ... and then say, "Heey, how's it going? Care to buy me a drink at the Prancing Pony?" Instantly, this fine ranger would be enthralled by my good looks, charm, intelligence and modesty and would take me out for the aforementioned drink. Whether we get to the Prancing Pony or not is another matter (hey, we could be attacked by orcs - get your minds out of the gutter) but the point is ... the hobbits are saved and I get a scruffy ranger!
Xara: Your boyfriend has joined a fellowship to destroy an innocent teddy bear by throwing it in the Fires of Mount Doom! But luckily you borrow a horse off Arwen and manage to catch up with them before they get too far. You dismount your horse and say:
Prongs: "Oy you! What on earth has Beavis ever done to you, eh? Has it pulled your nose while you were sleeping? Stolen your food? Cheered for the wrong hockey team?! I say NAY! And therefore you should not destroy him! Oh fine, if you will ... I'll confiscate him right now, lock him up in a glass case and cement the case to your bookshelf. I will also buy you a Love-A-Lot Care Bear just for trying to destroy Beavis - so now you have two bears in your room!" If yelling doesn't succeed, I'll just work my feminine charms ... you know, bat the eyelashes, tear up a bit, pout some. He's a boy ... their level of sensibility and maturity isn't exactly all that. He'll be easy to charm.
Xara: To everyone's utter horror, a TV crew somehow managed to find their way into Middle Earth and convinced Frodo to have an extreme make-over for their show! Now he looks ... looks ... unhobbitish! It's terrible! And worse, the TV crew are planning to go back in and turn it into a TV series! Producers are planning reality TV shows in Middle Earth, big name companies are already selling hobbits T-shirts and caps and socks and underwear! Something must be done! And the task has fallen to you...
Prongs: Well, I'm sure that Lord of the Rings fanatics are not going to take this lying down so I would require their help with this situation. I would contact one fan from a different country (or different State or Province in the case the States and Canada) and have them organise their troops. I would send out an information package and powerpoint presentation CD to all the leaders and have them explain the situation to their patrol. We would then meet in New Zealand, with pitchforks and flaming torches, at 1300 hours on the day of filming. Once the stars are out of harms way, we would lay siege to the production set, dashing any hopes of continuing with this show. Hah! That will show them! Mess with Frodo will you?! EH?! This is what happens! I mean, who knows right? It could happen to Aragorn next! Horrors!
What shall we do with a drunken sailor? What shall we do with a drunken sailor? What shall we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning?
Anonymous Corsair of Umbar
Put him in the brig until he`s sober. Put him in the brig until he`s sober. Put him in the brig until he`s sober early in the morning.
REMINDER: This is a reminder to all hobbit owners, please do not park your hobbits in a non-parking zone or they will be towed. I repeat, please do not park your hobbits in a non-parking zone, which can be identified by a large sign with a picture of a hobbit and a red-cross over the top. They will be towed. Thank you.
FOR SALE: Second-hand Morgul blade. Yes, ok, I admit, the blade part is gone, but the handle is still in quite good condition! Call me if you're interested!! Note: We take no responsibility for evil side effects as a result of handling handle.
haudh: (noun) mound. Haudh-en-Arwen, Haudh-en-Elleth, Haudh-en-Ndengin,
him: (adjective) cool. Himlad, Himring.
hith: (s., noun) mist. Hithaeglir, Hithlum, Nen Hithoel.
hyarmen (q.), har-, harn, harad (s.): south. Hyarmentir, Harad, Haradrim.
Hehehe, so Sam's the incredible expanding hobbit? In actual fact I didn't notice him getting much fatter, but then, I was hardly looking very closely, my attention usually being on Frodo. Although I did notice he looked very well-fed in that extended marshes scene! Quicky! What's so mediocre about fan fiction? Tis a brilliant new genre! And you don't have to worry about getting publishers to like your stuff, hehe, you can publish yourself!
The editor opens her mouth to answer but her words are blown away on the wind, ever to be a mystery.
My apologies for being absent from this site for the past few weeks. Perhaps this is not good news to the multitude of members that are present at the site, but I will be back! Next week! And I will get the Trivia correct! Congratulations on a fine website (hah! I got a mention! How's that for wild?!) and excellent articles. Looking forward to the next one.
Rob! It's wonderful to hear from a subscriber! Hehe, did you
hear that everyone? Run!! Run for your lives! Only joking, it'll bee great
to have you back Rob! Good luck with the trivia!