i Nili o i Ardanole Newsletter:
Your source for Lord of the Rings News, Updates, Poetry, Art, Parody and Satire.
Issue 27, Volume 2, April 30th, 2004.

Editors: Perian, Xara.
Primary Reporter: Ivy Brandybuck.
Chief Corespondent: Prongs.
Contributor(s): Fan, Huan, Rob, Angel

In this issue:
The Non-Racism Rant by Xara.
Living in a Fantasy World by Perian.
Arwen Evenstar by Angel
Bring on the Orcs! by Prongs
Eomer the Heightist by Xara.
Nienor Niniel by Huan
Arwen...Eowyn...*rolls eyes*...Whatever! by Angel

In every issue:
Fanfiction: This Fortnight:
Random Fandom.
Ask Samwise.


The Non-Racism Rant
By Xara

  Doesn't it just make your blood boil when every now and then one of these newspaper articles turns up with some so-called expert claiming Lord of the Rings is a racist book/movie? Every time one of these turns up, every self respecting fan of Lord of the Rings will of course, automatically go into rant-mode and explain forcefully all the reasons why this is absolutely and completely not in the least bit true. Well, I think we shouldn't have to explain it to these silly people, we should save our breath for more important matters. And so, I shall hereby rant once and for all on the subject and let that be the end of the matter.
  Firstly, Lord of the Rings is very much anti-racism because the Fellowship of the Ring is a symbol of multi-culturalism. In the Fellowship we have the union of many different previously estranged races and cultures working together for a similar goal. Each member of the Fellowship has his own part to play in achieving their goal, and without each individual of the Fellowship their cause would have been lost. Does this say something to you? Does it perhaps suggest to you the value and importance of different races and cultures and encourage different cultures uniting and working together? Because, strange as it may seem to some, that's the message I'm getting.
  Lord of the Ring's condemnment of racism is personified specifically in Legolas and Gimli. Here are an elf and a dwarf, members of two races which are openly untrusting towards each other and display prejudiced views against each other. When Legolas and Gimli first meet, they too a rather prejudiced towards each other because of the races to which they belong, however by the time they leave Lothlorien, their friendship can be rivaled only by that of the hobbits. Does this not send out a strong anti-racism message? Does this not convey the impression that such racial prejudices are unfounded and can and should be set aside?
  And now we come to the main argument that Lord of the Rings' critics use. The skin-colour of the orcs. I say firstly, can you imagine an orc taking a bath? Is it possible that the explanation for this is that they simply don't wash very often? But even so, we all know that skin-colour doesn't matter, even the orcs know that. As some of the critics failed to notice, orcs come in a range of colours including brown, pink, green and pale. Now, that aside, I would like to remind everyone where the orcs originally came from: elves! That's right, the most high and noble of all the races of Middle Earth is what these foul creatures were originally. Obvious the critics were too busy looking at Lurtz's dirty appearance to listen to Saruman when he explained this. Now, considering that the most evil of all the creatures of Middle Earth have now been proved to originally be the most pure, does this not say that all races of Middle Earth, even these immortal beings, have an equal potential to be corrupted to evil? Does this not say that in fact no race is better than any other race as they all have the potential to become orcs?
  And now for men. It has been said that the Easterlings and Harradrim men are again an example of racism in Lord of the Rings. It has been said that the fair men of Gondor are portrayed as being superior to any other race of men. But you will notice a group of men who fight alongside the Easterlings, Harradrim and the orcs, known as the Corsairs of Umbar. Now, if any of these people who argue that LotR is racist had bothered to look for facts to back up their arguments by reading the Appendices they would have discovered that the Corsairs of Umbar who are classed as 'badies' right alongside everyone else, are actually men of Numenor and Gondor gone bad. Does this not say that the Men of Gondor have an equal chance of falling into corruption as any other race of men? Is this not again, a message that is quite the opposite of racism?
  We all know that, however accepting our society may be, racism still exists today. But we also know, that of all the places to look for it, Lord of the Rings is not one of them. Claims of racism against Lord of the Rings are not properly researched and can easily be disproved. They are no more than a case of tall-poppy syndrome. So next time someone claims LotR is racist, here are all the arguments that will knock them flat and save your valuable time for less ridiculous matters.

Living in a Fantasy World
(to maintain sanity)
By Perian
  Laugh though you might, that is more or less what the average Ringer does. There is a bond which connects bookworms and fantasy fanatics together and more closely than any other social or fan-based group, and that is the universal semi-dependance on the fantasy world.
  One doesnít have to look far to know that ours is not a pleasant time. There has not been a day in the past century when there was not war raging in one country or another (often in multiple locations, and at times even on a world scale.) Over a billion people go to sleep each night hungry. Civilisation (what little we ever had of it) is "on the brink of destruction. You will unite or..." You know the quote.
  Familiar, isnít it? Our beloved characters faced an equally evil time back during the end of the Third Age. It gives one hope to know that they were able to make it through. Yes, perhaps they were only fictional characters, but that does not decrease their value in our lives.
  Their situation could very well have happened: change a few names, a few details of events, and it could be happening now. It is calming to be reminded through the words of Tolkien and Fran, as delivered by cinematic Sam, that thereís some good in this world.
  The fantasy world is as helpful in our personal lives. Though with the recent popularisation of The Lord of the Rings fans range from the average student to the gothic computer graphic designer to the clean-shaven (or perhaps waxed? Whatever it was she did to her mustache,) magistrate, there was a time when the Ringer fit the stereotype. Someone intellectual, solitary, somewhat shunned for their unusual views and tastes. Someone for whom a fantasy was far more inviting and accepting of them than life. The average Ringer could often identify with those hobbits who were thrown against their better judgement into a harsh and dangerous world. There were the Merry and Pippins, whose exuberant, boisterous, witty personalities gave them much attention (or maybe it was the wig fragments glued to the tops of their feet) but were never taken seriously; the Samwises who were turned to when others were in need, but generally forgotten otherwise - those who cherish stories to escape the tedium of their day-to-day life; and the Bilbos and Frodos who were considered odd from the beginning, the eccentrics and outcasts. And there still are. Identifying with these characters helps these types and others to know they are not alone.
  On a more universal scale people will turn to the events of the War of the Ring when events in their lives have reached a traumatic point. No matter how bad a modern situation may be, the person experiencing it can gain strength from their Middle-earthian counterparts. When forced to face a mortal enemy, usually a seemingly all-powerful one such as a domineering teacher or boss, a Ringer may find a therapeutic value and a humourous revenge by first sharpening their pencil with a will beforehand and facing the foe with a pet name in mind, such as Mister Witchking or Lady Lurtz. Keep the pencil to the paper, though!
  At one time or another, and for some of us everyday, the reality of the fantasy has kept us from falling prey to the fantasy we call reality.
Arwen Evenstar
By Angel 
Golden is her crown
Dark is her hair
Stars shine around her
The lady so fair 
So blessed with beauty
Heart full of grace
Souls to be hypnotised
Looking upon her face 
Her life was a fairytale
Her story was spread far
A queen upon the throne
Arwen Evenstar
Bring on the Orcs!
By Prongs

  Visiting a foreign country or city will inevitably lead to a meeting with the local bugs and animals. On a trip to New Zealand, one can expect to encounter wetas, a face-to-face meeting with an orc or an uruk is common in Middle Earth and, when camping out in the desert, expect to have a scorpion crawl across your hand. So, what scary creature would one be likely to come across in Toronto? Squirrels. Yes, you read correctly; squirrels -- small gnawing animals with bushy tails. Sure, they sound cute and, in most cases, they are cute -- but all bets are off when it comes to Toronto squirrels! These creatures are strange; they show no fear; they intimidate people who walk through the park; they even have the gall to steal cheesecake!
  Three years ago your reporter, while reading in the park, noticed a squirrel staring at a woman who was eating cheesecake.  Being incredibly kind, this woman offered the squirrel a small piece of her cheesecake. You'd think that the squirrel would be satisfied with this offering, but no! Unbeknownst to the woman, the squirrel crept forwards stealthily, inching its way towards the prize. Suddenly, it jumped into the plastic dessert container, causing the woman to scream and drop her oh-so-delicious cheesecake! Sigh.
  Perhaps one would think that this reporter is just being prejudiced against squirrels because of her love for cheesecake but this is not true. These squirrels have been known to enter dorm rooms via open windows to steal ... well, anything and everything. Your reporter should know ... she had two pass keys stolen this way -- the second time she found a squirrel on her desk where her card was.
  Perhaps these squirrels are not ordinary squirrels -- perhaps they are mutant squirrels! Mutated to have no fear! Whatever it is, they are dead scary! Bring on the uruks and the orcs of Middle Earth any old day -- just get these creepy squirrels out of here!


Eomer the Heightist
by Xara.
  We all know of the predjudices addressed in the Lord of the Rings. There's racism (and by that I do not mean I agree with those people who call themselves philosphers and yet claim that Lord of the Rings is a racist story, if they had even been paying attention...sorry, I shall rant about that in another article) and sexism (telling Eowyn to stay behind, really!) for a start. But there is another dreadful ism that we can see plainly in the Lord of the Rings, and that is heightism. That's right, those terrible, terrible people who will hold a creature's height against him. Hobbits and dwarves, they suffer the worst from this foolish predjudice, and probably the most ignorantly predjudiced of all the heightists is none other than Eomer son of Eomund.
  Now, I can hear you saying already, "Stop bagging out Eomer! He's one of the good guys!" Yes, that's true, but he's also got a nasty sneering scorn about him when it comes to short people. Consider the first thing he said to Gimli when they met. "I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground." Now, at this point Legolas jumps in there and defends Gimli but I'm sure if he hadn't, Eomer would have found out that dwarves can compensate pretty well for their size with injured pride. Eomer never makes any jokes about Aragorn and Legolas. He doesn't call Legolas a 'nancy elf' or Aragorn a 'dirty ranger'. But he has a go at Gimli for being short, something which he can't help! That is a classic case of heightism!
  And not only that, Eomer does it again! In Return of the King, when Eowyn is encouraging Merry to fight and go into battle he says, "I do not doubt his heart, only the reach of his arm." Another joke at a short person's expense! And if it weren't for Merry, Eomer's sister would have died out there on the battle-field! Really Eomer, show some respect! He should have learnt by that time that Gimli was no laughing matter, but it appears that Eomer is something of a slow learner.
  However, in the end, Eowyn sets him straight in teaching him that big things can come in small packages. "And what of the King's esquire, the halfling? Eomer, you shall make him a knight of the Riddermark, for he is valiant." You tell him Eowyn! So you see, here is yet another example of a predjudice overcome during the course of The Lord of the Rings. Eomer was eventually converted from heightism (at least we can assume so) to a respect for all creatures great as well as small.


Nienor Niniel
By Huan
Nienor, mourning be thy name
Tragic only be thy fame
Running under serpents spell
Flying like a deer among trees
Running from a living hell
Nienor, led like a helpless child
Now ran witless into the wild
All left behind, Mablung at last
Among the woods in Brethil far
At evening suddenly her madness past
By chance she came on Turambar
In a land to her so very far
While lying on Haudh-en-Elleth
Unknowingly in the forest light
She found her doom in an evil plight
Niniel he named her, Maiden of tears
And bid her wave away her fears
For a love he felt for her unknown
From the green mound she came
Seeds of doom about to be sewn
Do as tour heart bids, Niniel most dear
You have no war from me to fear
I will not do battle, go off to war
Less to defend you or my house he said
And with this brother and sister were wed.
Nienor Niniel lived a life of gloom
Turin Turambar, the master of doom
Standing over Glaurung so tall
So passed the children of Hurin and Morwen
And here ends a tale to be dreaded by all.


Arwen...Eowyn...*rolls eyes*...Whatever!
By Angel

  Arwen Undomiel, or, also known as The Evenstar. What is the first thing you think of when you see or hear 'Arwen'? Are you one of those who despise her, because she took up too much of Eowyn's spotlight? Or are you the one who loves her for her beauty and faith? OR, maybe you don't even take any notice of her, and see her as 'just another character'.
  Whichever one you truly are, or whatever you may think, read this article and tell me if you changed any little bit of your viewpoint at all.
  For years, especially after the first of the three films were made, there has been the age old debate of 'Arwen or Eowyn'? For those with little LotR wisdom, or those who are just plain ignorant, they would think Eowyn and Arwen are the same, and that one is 'better' than the other. For those of us who actually have researched enough into both characters, we know that we should see both characters separately.
  Eowyn leads a totally different life to Arwen. She was a shieldmaiden at heart and was brought up alongside men. She wanted to show what she was capable of and wanted to fight. She gave us the 'girl power' theme through the movies. Her story ends happily, with a love deep and true. We can see Eowyn as 'our heroine' in the face of war.
  But, Arwen, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. She has more of a 'behind the scenes' role in the trilogy. She's an elven princess with such faith we have never seen before. Her life was a romantic story, from beginning to end. But her love story was also very sad, yet beautiful.
  She has fallen in love with Aragorn, a mortal man. It was rare for a mortal to wed an elf, and it was Arwen's legacy to follow in Luthien's path she carved long ago. If you research thoroughly into their lives and their love, you will see how haunting Arwen and Aragorn's love story was. Their love sets the 'romance' part of the trilogy, even the Eowyn - Farimir fans have to admit that! The reason why Aragorn never gave up his hope, was because he knew he would win the battle and finally live the life he had been dreaming of since he first met Arwen in the forest. Arwen, we see, shows great faith in the movies, in her love and for Aragorn.
  Their last meeting before Aragorn went to war, and had a possibility to never return, was on top of Cerin Amroth. There, they made a vow to each other. Many years after that day, after King Aragorn and Queen Arwen shared many happy years together, and Aragorn soon passed away; Arwen went back to Cerin Amroth, and laid herself there on the green bed. There, passed Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of her people.
  I ask you all to read The Tale of Arwen and Aragorn, and you might understand better of what I just wrote. Now that you may know a little more on her life, you must tell me now. Has your viewpoint changed a little at all?

This Fortnight: Chapter Nine
By Ivy

  It had been a week since Merry and Pippin had arrived, and there was no sign of any attack or even a threat from the people in the south. The two hobbits had become bored (if that was possible in Minas Tirith) and had given up hope of being needed at all. They made ready to go back home, both of them slightly disappointed and angry they were called to make so long a journey for nothing.
  "Well, that's the end of that!" said Pippin happily.
  "I'm going hoooome!" Merry sang, dancing around the room.
  "You're certainly no-"
  "Master Merry! Master Pippin!" one of Eomer's men burst in. "The pirates have attacked Edoras!" He ran back out without another word. Merry and Pippin only looked at one another and followed. They burst into the audience chamber to a flurry of excitement. They stood amidst very tall people in armor, blinking up at them and not quite sure of what to do.
  "Merry! Pippin!" Aragorn shouted to them and pushed his way through all of the people. (Not that he had to do much pushing, since everyone moved out of his way anyway.) "You heard?"
  "We heard." Pippin confirmed.
  "Listen, they're heading this way next." Aragorn said calmly. "You both know how to swim?"
  "What?!" Merry asked. "Why would we need to swim?!"
  "Just answer! Can you?"
  "Well, I can't..." said Pippin quietly, bowing his head.
  "I can." Merry said, glancing over at Pippin.
  "All right. Merry, you have four, maybe five days to teach Pippin to swim."
  Pippin's head shot up. "I don't want to learn to swim!"
  "You don't have a choice." Aragorn told him.
  "Let's just do it and not ask questions, Pip." Merry suggested. "Is there anything else we can do, my lord?"
  "Not at this time. Eomer has ridden back to Edoras, as his men made an attempt to stop the pirates, but failed. He needs to survey the damage. He asked that you handle Rohan's affairs while he's away, but that shouldn't be a worry." With that, Aragorn strode off to see to the defense of his city.


Newsletter Trivia.
Q: What utensil/device/thing did Frodo use to condense lembas into wafer form?
Q: In what article did Ivy say she would be chased down by a mob for her comment about Legolas?


Random Fandom.

Xara: You are trekking through the wilderness when you come upon two little hobbits being harassed by a rugged looking ranger! What do you do?
Prongs: Ooh la la, so he's a rugged looking ranger is he? Is he scruffy also? Well, in that case ... I would look this fine ranger up and down ... strike a pose ... and then say, "Heey, how's it going? Care to buy me a drink at the Prancing Pony?" Instantly, this fine ranger would be enthralled by my good looks, charm, intelligence and modesty and would take me out for the aforementioned drink. Whether we get to the Prancing Pony or not is another matter (hey, we could be attacked by orcs - get your minds out of the gutter) but the point is ... the hobbits are saved and I get a scruffy ranger!
Xara: Your boyfriend has joined a fellowship to destroy an innocent teddy bear by throwing it in the Fires of Mount Doom! But luckily you borrow a horse off Arwen and manage to catch up with them before they get too far. You dismount your horse and say:
Prongs: "Oy you! What on earth has Beavis ever done to you, eh? Has it pulled your nose while you were sleeping? Stolen your food? Cheered for the wrong hockey team?! I say NAY! And therefore you should not destroy him! Oh fine, if you will ... I'll confiscate him right now, lock him up in a glass case and cement the case to your bookshelf. I will also buy you a Love-A-Lot Care Bear just for trying to destroy Beavis - so now you have two bears in your room!" If yelling doesn't succeed, I'll just work my feminine charms ... you know, bat the eyelashes, tear up a bit, pout some. He's a boy ... their level of sensibility and maturity isn't exactly all that. He'll be easy to charm.
Xara: To everyone's utter horror, a TV crew somehow managed to find their way into Middle Earth and convinced Frodo to have an extreme make-over for their show! Now he looks ... looks ... unhobbitish! It's terrible! And worse, the TV crew are planning to go back in and turn it into a TV series! Producers are planning reality TV shows in Middle Earth, big name companies are already selling hobbits T-shirts and caps and socks and underwear! Something must be done! And the task has fallen to you...
Prongs: Well, I'm sure that Lord of the Rings fanatics are not going to take this lying down so I would require their help with this situation. I would contact one fan from a different country (or different State or Province in the case the States and Canada) and have them organise their troops. I would send out an information package and powerpoint presentation CD to all the leaders and have them explain the situation to their patrol. We would then meet in New Zealand, with pitchforks and flaming torches, at 1300 hours on the day of filming. Once the stars are out of harms way, we would lay siege to the production set, dashing any hopes of continuing with this show. Hah! That will show them! Mess with Frodo will you?! EH?! This is what happens! I mean, who knows right? It could happen to Aragorn next! Horrors!

Ask Samwise.
  Dear Samwise,
  I have just been notified to be related to someone of great power, evil power, as in, I'm a long lost sister of hers. Do you have any idea of how I could break it to the rest of their family? So that not many people would be taken by much surprise?
  Dear Fan,
  Not taken by too much surprise you say? Well, if you want there to be no surprise, my advise would be to make it so they suspects from the start. Try walking around the house in a long black cape, and cackling evilly at the dinner table. After that they'll have no doubt in their minds and, like as not, they'll be the ones that break it to you!

  Dear Samwise,
  What shall we do with a drunken sailor? What shall we do with a drunken sailor? What shall we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning?
  Anonymous Corsair of Umbar
  Dear ACoU,
  Put him in the brig until he`s sober. Put him in the brig until he`s sober. Put him in the brig until he`s sober early in the morning.


REMINDER: This is a reminder to all hobbit owners, please do not park your hobbits in a non-parking zone or they will be towed. I repeat, please do not park your hobbits in a non-parking zone, which can be identified by a large sign with a picture of a hobbit and a red-cross over the top. They will be towed. Thank you.

FOR SALE: Second-hand Morgul blade. Yes, ok, I admit, the blade part is gone, but the handle is still in quite good condition! Call me if you're interested!! Note: We take no responsibility for evil side effects as a result of handling handle.


Of Places and Geological Features, Part VII: (Key: q. = Quenya, s. = Sindarin, where known.)

haudh: (noun) mound. Haudh-en-Arwen, Haudh-en-Elleth, Haudh-en-Ndengin, Haudh-en-Nirnaeth.
him: (adjective) cool. Himlad, Himring.
hith: (s., noun) mist. Hithaeglir, Hithlum, Nen Hithoel.
hyarmen (q.), har-, harn, harad (s.): south. Hyarmentir, Harad, Haradrim.


  Dear Editor,
  Hehehe, so Sam's the incredible expanding hobbit? In actual fact I didn't notice him getting much fatter, but then, I was hardly looking very closely, my attention usually being on Frodo. Although I did notice he looked very well-fed in that extended marshes scene! Quicky! What's so mediocre about fan fiction? Tis a brilliant new genre! And you don't have to worry about getting publishers to like your stuff, hehe, you can publish yourself!
The editor opens her mouth to answer but her words are blown away on the wind, ever to be a mystery.
    Dear Editor,
  My apologies for being absent from this site for the past few weeks. Perhaps this is not good news to the multitude of members that are present at the site, but I will be back! Next week! And I will get the Trivia correct! Congratulations on a fine website (hah! I got a mention! How's that for wild?!) and excellent articles. Looking forward to the next one.

  Rob! It's wonderful to hear from a subscriber! Hehe, did you hear that everyone? Run!! Run for your lives! Only joking, it'll bee great to have you back Rob! Good luck with the trivia!