i Nili o i Ardanole Newsletter:
Your source for Lord of the Rings
News, Updates, Poetry, Art, Parody and Satire.
Issue 42, Volume 2, November 26th, 2004.
Editors: Perian, Xara.
Primary Reporter: Ivy.
Chief Correspondent: Prongs.
Columnists: Lady Morrigan Shadow, Padfoot, Cerridwen.
Contributor(s): Eowyn Evenstar. Matthias.
In this issue: Fandom.
A Fan's Addiction by Ivy.
Faviour by Perian.
The Stereotype Strikes Again! by Xara.
A Huge LotR Fan in a Small Town by Padfoot.
The Joy of Screencapping by Xara.
After all, who can resist a Gamgee? (Part 1) by
In every issue:
Fanfiction: This Fortnight: Midnight Flower by Cerridwen, Part VII.
Ivy's Newsletter Trivia.
Xara's Random Fandom.
Tolkienish, provided by Perian.
A Fan's Addiction
So, you're a Lord of the Rings fan, huh? You get up in the
morning, ogle at hobbits (or maybe that ranger... or that elf...) and
go about your business... For a while. And suddenly, you're shaking,
you can't focus, and all you can think about is doing something Lord of
the Ring-ish. This is what has come to be known as 'The Fan Complex'.
New studies performed by top Middle-earthian scientists (aka the
newsletter staff in disguise) shows that some fans experience
uncontrollable urges to so hobbitish/rangerish/elvish things at
completely random times. A staggering 34.219% of fans exhibit such
behaviour. And why? They have developed an over-addiction.
You may have 'The Fan Complex' is you show any of the following
1. Watching of any film in the trilogy more than once a week
2. Reading of any part of the book more than once in a three
3. Ogling / drooling / fainting / melting / falling from chairs
/ giggling / squealing / blushing when looking at pictures of the
characters of the movie or the actors who portray them.
4. Sudden urges to shout phrases in Elvish or any other
5. More than two walls of your room are covered in posters
6. You have spent more than 150 dollars / euro / pounds / other
currency on collectors' items or memorabilia.
7. Uncontrollable shaking / nervousness / edginess / frustration
if you don't see / do something Lord of the Rings related in more than
Now, don't panic. If you suspect you may be 'suffering' from
'The Fan Complex', there's nothing to worry about. Our extensive
studies have concluded that it is definitely not hazardous to
your health, though we are quite 'disappointed' (not!) to inform you it
is a possible lifelong ailment.
Any questions or comments may be e-mailed to email@example.com
and may be answered in a follow-up article once more research is
conducted. Thank you.
Everyone searches for, and sometimes is able to find, what
is for them a favourite character. This is simple enough in theory. In
application it is rather more difficult as everyone has a different
idea as to who this favourite is. After they have set their sights on a
particular character they then feel compelled to justify their opinion,
and, if they are very fervent in their devotion, to try to sway others
to agree with them. Thus debates arise as to who is most worthy of
respect. Who, if I may coin a phrase, is the universally acknowledged
faviour of Middle-earth.
There are several who come immediately to mind, all of whom
hold a very valid claim to the title.
Aragorn, to begin with. He saved humanity at Helm's Deep,
an act without which, well, I wouldn't be writing this for your human
eyes (whatever species may lie behind them) to read. You, I, and
everyone else would be orcs - squint-eyed, foul-bellied, and even
smellier than we are now. He also saved our Ringbearer on numerous
occasions, with the same result.
Our Ringbearer, ah, yes. He is the next logical choice.
Actually, he is the first logical choice, but I have to give someone
else a chance. Frodo was the one who sacrificed himself, or tried to,
time and time again for Middle-earth's sake. Sometimes I wonder
whether he had a death wish. Ahem, excuse me, I should say a longing
for martyrdom. We all know what he endured and accomplished. No need to
What of the females? Eowyn's destruction of the
Witchking surely saved all of Middle-earth. Galadriel, too, played a
great role in a subtle way; refusing power, gifting Frodo with the
light with which he was saved from both the nazgul and Shelob. And if I
may be so bold, she gave a few members of the Fellowship - three to be
exact; you know who they are - an extra cause for which to fight.
There are even those who saved Middle-earth without meaning
to. Smeagol in his final moments is an obvious example of this.
Another you may not have considered is Grima Wormtongue. Not once but
twice he saved Middle-earth. The first time with his enraged blunder of
hurling the palantir from the tower of Orthanc. This, in
causing it to fall into Pippin's possession, drew
Sauron's Eye away from Mordor and allowed Frodo
and Sam safe passage through that realm. The second time was
when he killed his own master, who, like Sauron had done in the age
prior, might have quietly gained power and corrupted and fouled
Middle-earth once again. What is more, Grima was killed for his actions
giving more ground for one to say he gave up his life for the
There are so many, great or small (or both), who
made an impact so strong that even had Middle-earth survived
without them, history would have been dramatically altered. And yet it
probably would have survived... Had Aragorn passed in Battle,
Gandalf would have rallied the armies to the Hornburg nonetheless. Had
Frodo perished truly and finally in Shelob's Lair, Sam would have gone
on with the Ring. No person can be credited with the entire fate of
So, hats off everyone, to the indisputable Faviour of
Middle-earth: J.R.R. Tolkien. Had he perished in the trenches of World
War One, or even set down his pen rather than struggle on with his
work, Middle-earth would not be there for us today. Raise your
glass, and three cheers, to our faviour.
The Stereotype Strikes Again!
As parents will, mine have often forced me to attend
friendly Sunday luncheons with their friends, which, as teenagers will,
I find incredibly boring, except the food of course. As guests will,
they always try to engage me in conversation at some point during the
meal, and after a well scripted set of questions, they discover that I
am a fan of Lord of the Rings. It is at this point that the outrage has
sometimes occurred, "That's odd, isn't it usually teenage boys who like
Lord of the Rings?" Then, struggling to fit me into the conventional
stereotype, they assume that I am one of these teenage boys they are
referring too, only in female form, and try to introduce topics such as
collectors cards and Dungeons and Dragons. This is annoying, as I
hardly know what Dungeons and Dragons is except for a vague suspicion
it is a video game of some sort, and as for collectors cards, I own one
that I found in a marshmallow packet, but it rather loses precedence
amongst the giant Frodo posters on my wall.
It is that old hobby of society playing tricks on us again,
stereotyping. Have you noticed that we fans of LotR, just like everyone
else in this day and age, have been stereotyped? In the eyes of
outsiders, being a Lord of the Rings fan means you're a nerd, a fan
girl, or an ageing hippie. That, or all nerds, fan girls and ageing
hippies are Lord of the Rings fans. This assumption is of course false.
I know many a 'fan girl', that is, a girl who will scream at the sight
of a celebrity, who adamantly hates LotR. As do I know a nerd or two
who've never heard of Frodo. I suspect one of my uncles is an ageing
hippie, but I've never heard him speak in elvish. Something is
obviously amiss here.
The truth is, it's not what category or stereotype you
conform to, if you conform to any at all, many people don't, that makes
you a fan of Lord of the Rings. And being Lord of the Rings doesn't
instantly make you fit into a category. Lord of the Rings fandom can
strike anyone, anywhere. It can and does appeal to people from all
walks of life, from the so-called nerds to the cool kids, from the
daggy dad to his adolescent offspring. And so why on earth have these
strange and mysterious assumptions emerged from?
It's human nature being silly once again and stereotyping
that's what. Can we never escape it? Perhaps all Lord of the Rings fans
should spontaneously start wearing Harry Potter glasses to throw them
off? But then, that would but lead to another damn stereotype: If you
like LotR, you like Harry Potter. Argh!!! Somebody help me I'm being
stereotyped!! If you can think of a solution to this impossible problem
of society's assumptions please let me know! Until then, I think I
shall sit here and sulk about it, that should pass some time.
A Huge LotR Fan in a Small Town
As we grow up we tend to like the things that are around
us. If one grew up in a basketball household then that someone would
tend to like basketball. This goes for a lot of things. The size of the
town, village, city, hamlet, etc. also affects the things you like. For
most people it is difficult to move from a small town to a huge city
just because of the noise, people and atmosphere. I, myself, live in a
town of 1,500; the town proper has 267 telephone poles (a lot compared
to the size). So it's difficult to like new things when you're
surrounded with the same things every day. My love for LotR did not
develop because of the people around me, or from the constant bickering
of my dad to pick up the book and read it, nor did my love for it come
from the countless bombardment of LotR- the movie- posters plastered on
the walls on the nearest "city" 20 minuets away. My love for LotR
developed one snowy afternoon in the winter of 02' (I think, who knows,
dates aren't important). The town's state of emergency warning was
flashing on the lovely TV screen before the power went out. A beautiful
winters afternoon. At this time my small town had not heard of the
Internet so I was not deprived of such an amenity (though that fall we
were introduced to it.) The TV was the only thing I had, and it was
gone. So I went into my room and looked around for a book to read and I
found a nice little copy of The Hobbit. So I sat and read it, it took
me the rest of the afternoon and then the next day. I immediately fell
in love with this great plot line. (Which was then later pointed out to
me by the school brain that Tolkien copied from other authors. But hey,
who doesn't?) My dear old father had taken me about a month earlier to
see The Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring, but I had
forgotten about it. 'Twas a silly flick I had said. I had not fully
understood its majestic quality. After the state of emergency that
February winter the year of '02 my mother had taken me to the "city" 20
minuets away and we purchased the set of books. I began reading them
one by one and was totally mesmerized. I would just like to say that
these books have really brought a nice change in my life. It was the in
a sense "gateway drug" to other exciting novels and movies and all that
jazz. Tolkien, This girl right here, sitting at a computer at one of
the most isolated towns in the northeast will be forever a life long
fan. Thank you very much for your books. And thank you to PJ, for
bringing them to life, and while I'm on a thank you high I have a few
more people to thank. There's so many people out there who contributed
to my liking of LotR, but mostly the one who really made me a huge fan
would be Xara. I was a fan when I read it. But I was obsessed after I
The Joy of Screen Capping
I must begin by warning all, if you are not a screen
capper, have many time-consuming addictive obsessions and do not wish
to develop another, I would suggest you do not try screen capping. It
is very time consuming, very addictive, and you will become more and
more obsessive about it as time goes on. That said, I love screen
capping!! For the past three years, twice a year (once when the
theatrical DVD comes out and once when the extended version is
released) screen capping becomes the absolute lodestone of my life! In
such times, nothing gives me greater pleasure than to sit for hours
locked in the study with the DVD clicking away until every single frame
of my beloved Lord of the Rings, the beloved hobbits, the beloved
landscapes, the beloved other characters who aren't hobbits, and even
the beloved bad guys, have been captured and stored on my hard drive.
Am I a freak? I'm a freak.
What is screen capping? I hear some of you ask. Well, it's when
you take pictures of a DVD as it plays on your computer, using your DVD
player program. I don't have experience with many of these, the one I
use is Power DVD and, as I'm sure you have gathered by now, it has a
screen capping (screen capture is the more accurate term) option, which
is basically a button at the bottom of the screen you press when you
like the look of what's currently on the screen. Once you press the
button, the picture is automatically sent to the location of your
choice, be it your pictures folder, clipboard, or some other location.
You decide. From there it is but a simple step to using a paint program
to cut off the black lines at the top and bottom and anything else you
consider to be superfluous, and there it is, your very own picture from
As I said earlier, screen capping is highly addictive. I
discovered it shortly after the release of the Fellowship DVD, and
promptly took about 500 caps. By the time the extended version came
out, I was taking 1000 of the extended scenes alone. By the time I was
watching The Two Towers in the cinema I was thinking "My gosh that is
such an amazing scene, I want to freeze every frame and stick it on my
wall." By my third viewing of The Two Towers I was making mental notes
of specific frames I would like to take, which pictures I would take
twice so I could cut Merry and Pippin out and have individual shots of
them and still keep one of them standing side-by-side, and when The Two
Towers DVD came out I took a staggering 3500 caps, which shocked even
me. I forced myself to cut it down to 2000 but it was a wrench to let
them go, even the blurry ones that were duds anyway. Dare I tell you
that I took another 3000 of the extended scenes alone when the EE came
out? (If you don't believe me, look at the 100 I took of Merry and
Pippin's ent draught scene).
It has now reached the point where the Lord of the Rings movie
experience is not complete for me until I have every frame saved on my
computer, uploaded onto my website, printed out, stuck on black
cardboard and blue-tacked to my wall. You might call it devotion to
hobbits, or plain lunacy, but I like to call it the joy of screen
capping! But remember folks, don't try it at home, it's addictive!
To enjoy Lord of the Rings screen caps without becoming addicted
to the process of creation yourself, please feel free to visit my
Seeing people enjoy them makes it even more worth it than it already is!
After all, who can resist a Gamgee?
Ah Sam … without a doubt, the most endearing of
all the characters in the trilogy. He may not have Frodo’s massive,
blue eyes … or Merry’s cheeky attitude … or Pippin’s knack for saying
the wrong things at the wrong time (more on that topic in the Pippin
issue) … but, in keeping with the theme of this issue, he is my main
hobbit and I adore him! After all, who can resist a Gamgee? Rosie
Cotton couldn’t, that’s for certain … his shy nature and bumbling
manner made him all the more appealing. Not only did Sam and Rosie get
married, but they had 13 children together! Talk about an astounding
feat, eh? So, just how did Sam and Rosie manage to have so many
children? The answers lie in the body of this article ... read on, but
be warned: the next few paragraphs may scar some subscribers for
life – read at your own risk.
Sam and Rosie’s relationship started off, as many
relationships do, with small, simple gestures … for it is these
unpretentious acts that are the most genuine and also the most
romantic. And what is more romantic than flowers? Being a gardener and
all, it was a relatively simple task for Sam to put together a lovely
bunch of flowers and present them to his wife … oh and how overjoyed
she was, for nine months later, she gave birth to Elanor (don't get me
started on the biology of the process, read a text book).
Wow – see how easy that was? It only took a
bunch of flowers … so, Sam decided to try the flowers again … with a
modification! This time, instead of bringing the flowers home, he had
them delivered to Rosie at the Green Dragon? Ooooh, what a surprise she
must have had! “Flowers? For me?!” *swoon* And she was so happy that
she went home to cook Sam and Elanor a delicious dinner (I'm sure that
her dinners were always lovely, but this one was extra special).
Samwise came home … his daughter was being a brat (but she was at that
Terrible Two phase, so she could be forgiven) and his wife … well, she
was over the moon with happiness … they ate, they … er … didn't sleep,
they were very merry and nine months later … er, out came a son
Mind you, Samwise had not been elected Mayor
yet … he was still a gardener … but one day, he decided to take time
off from work to do something nice for his wife. She has been working
ever-so-hard as of late … what with the news spreading about the Green
Dragon having the “finest ale in all of the Shire” … business was
booming. So Sam, being the sweet and thoughtful hobbit that he was,
decided to forgo work in favour of … housecleaning! Yes, I did say
housecleaning. He cooked the most enticing rabbit stew … the aroma
filled the entire house ... and when Rosie arrived home (thinking about
what to prepare for dinner) she found … a clean house, clean children
and a stew that was simply too delicious for words … oh, how delighted
she was … and she put the energy that she saved up (through having no
cooking or cleaning to do) to good use at night (I will not elaborate
on this for fear of this article being given an even-worse-than-R
rating) and … lo and behold, nine months later the Gamgees have another
daughter – Rose!
In 1427, Will Whitfoot resigned as Mayor … and
Samwise Gamgee was elected to take his place. What a bit of luck for
the Gamgee family … Daddy/Hubby was the Mayor! Wazoo! No frills, no
fancies ... Rosie made an outstanding celebratory dinner, the kids were
put to bed, Rosie told Sam how proud she was of him (I might add that
when I read the appendices, I was proud of him too) and … a lack of
sleep and nine months later … Merry appeared! Yowza!
Honestly … 4 beautiful children, a glowing
wife, a blooming political career … what more could a Gamgee ask for?
How about a bigger house? With 4 children … the house was shrinking by
the minute! So, Sam bought Rosie a new house – the most beautiful
hobbit hole in all of the Shire! Oh my God … wow! Rosie was speechless
(this was a good thing … she was bowled over with emotion, you see) ...
she was beaming … and she and Sam … erm … “christened” … their new
house by … er … well, I wont go there but you know what I mean (and if
you don't, congratulations on having a very clean mind – I wish I could
say the same for myself) … but the outcome was the same .. a new little
hobbit nine months later … a boy that they called Pippin.
Seven Gamgees … two adults, five children …
makes for many mouths to feed, don't you think? Unfortunately for
Rosie, business at the Green Dragon took a nosedive when a new place,
“Paddy's Hole”, opened up around the corner. Rosie’s former customers
flocked to this new spot, eager to taste the “Finest Beer in All of the
Shire”, not knowing that the owner watered down the drinks. Rosie was
naturally very concerned about the lack of customers, and was only
slightly mollified when Merry, Sam and Pippin all come down to the
Green Dragon one night and drank pint after pint of beer. Sam, being
the responsible father, did not drink as much as the other two … he
needed to stay sober for the “Surprise” … but Merry and Pippin, Bless
their big hearts, drank themselves into a coma (to support Rosie, of
course) and had to be escorted back home by the Gamgees. When they
returned to their Hobbit Hole, they found the house in total darkness.
Naturally, Rosie was worried and panicky (and Sam did a good job in pretending
to be worried and panicky) … until she reached the kitchen – there were
paper streamers and ‘I Love You, Mom’ signs everywhere! After a
rollicking party (where Sam drank some more), the kids went to bed and
Rosie playfully accused Sam of conspiring against her … in return, Sam
playfully accused Rosie of – well, I wont go there but … well, they end
up in bed, giggling like teenagers in love and … er … get intimate and
… er … (must I elaborate? Editor: no) … eight
months later, Goldilocks appears.
Yes, unfortunately, I must tell you that
Goldilocks was a pre-mature baby. It was a sad and trying time for the
Gamgee family … their youngest daughter was sick, Rosie’s business was
not doing well … the children did try to help, but as they were
children, there was only so much that they could do. Sam came home one
night to find Rosie completely overwhelmed with emotion …
understandably so … he reminded her that this was just a difficult time
in their lives and that, if they persevered and kept looking on the
positive side, all would be well soon. They cuddled, they hugged, they
kissed … one thing led to another … they were having a good old time …
that is until their kids, who were still awake, came banging at their
door. Oops. But, as your school nurse has undoubtedly told you many
times over, even a quick cuddle is enough, and sure enough when Rosie
went to visit her doctor a few months later … she found out that she
was pregnant. Not the easiest of pregnancies of course, Goldilocks was
still sick, the children were at difficult points in their lives … but
Sam tried to make things as comfortable for Rosie as he possibly could
… and out popped Hamfast, right on time, a few months later.
And it is with the arrival of their seventh
baby that I will leave you. Tune in to the next issue to find out how
the remaining six Gamgees came into this world. Will the ‘Green Dragon’
live? Will Goldilocks get better? Will Sam try any new moves on Rosie?
Or vice-versa? You'll find out … in two weeks.
Mother Ocean, Daughter Sea
by Eowyn Evenstar.
Mother Ocean, Daughter Sea is Diana Marcellas's
first wonderfully detailed book in The Witch of Two Suns series.
It is about a young women named Brierley Mefell who is a shari'a.
The shari'a are witches with extraordinary gifts. Most of the
witches were long ago killed by the Allemanii duke, Roherum and
Brierley believes herself to be the last of her depleted race.
Named witch by a sea captain, Bartol which is a crime worthy of burning
in the Allemanii culture she is taken to earl Melfallan. His wife
Saray is grievously hurt and despite the risks Brierley choses to heal
her. Further involving her in the Allemanii's deadly
politics. To learn of Brierley's fate read Mother Ocean, Daughter
This Fortnight: Midnight Flower
"Aragorn, honestly, if you don't stop pacing,
you'll wear a hole in the floor!" Legolas looked in exasperation at the
man. Aragorn looked back at him.
"You're not the one about to get married," he muttered.
"No, I'm not, but I do know that you're only going to drive
yourself to distraction if you do not stop!" Legolas replied.
"A word if I may?" Novrion spoke up from where he was sitting on
the other side of the room.
"Of course." Aragorn looked at the elf. Novrion had gotten
married to Eiliandel naught a week earlier, and he had seemed to be
perfectly calm throughout the entire process.
"Listen to Legolas," Novrion said and sat back.
Aragorn looked at him, "That's all you have to say?" he looked
at him, "Tell me, what is it like?" he suddenly looked at him.
"Truthfully, I cannot remember," Novrion shrugged.
"You were married just last week! How can you not remember?"
Legolas looked at him like he'd gone mad.
Novrion gave a sheepish grin, "Well, all I remember was
Eiliandel walking towards me and then me kissing her - I was thinking
about her the whole time," he shrugged again, "I didn't really think of
much else - and, from how you look at her now, once Arwen is next to
you, I doubt you will either," he grinned. Aragorn shot him a look and
Legolas snickered. Novrion had raised a very true and honest point -
much to Aragorn's discomfort.
"What do you think?" Galadriel asked as she took her
granddaughter's hand and turned her to face a mirror. Arwen looked at
herself. A simple, yet elegant looking dress swathed her frame with a
faintly shimmering white fabric. Her long dark hair hung loose, held
back only by the thinnest band of silver resting lightly at the crown
of her head. Her hair contrasted sharply with the light fabric,
bringing her looks out in sharp relief. She looked at her grandmother
and smiled nervously.
"What do you think?" she returned, not sure of how to answer.
"I think," Galadriel smiled as she turned to get something,
"that Aragorn is going to have a hard time paying attention." She gave
a small laugh at her own statement. Arwen blushed. Galadriel turned
back, "Now, this is something that I gave your mother on her wedding
day, and she left it with me with instruction that it should be given
to you." She held out her hand and very gently handed Arwen what it was
she held. Arwen opened her hand to see a very thin necklace coiled in
her palm. There was no adornment to it, for there was no need, the
thin, fine chain more than holding it's own as it gleamed in the light.
Arwen wordlessly looked at Galadriel, who leaned forward, took it and
carefully put it around her granddaughter's neck. She stepped back to
let her see herself again, but Arwen looked at her instead. Galadriel
smiled at her, "If your mother could see you, she would be so proud,"
the elf said softly. Arwen tried to smile but couldn't. Seeing this,
her grandmother leaned forward and gave her a firm hug, "Now, you must
be going. Let's not keep Aragorn waiting." she tried to lighten the
mood enough to get Arwen's mind off her mother. Arwen nodded and headed
for the door before turning around to face Galadriel, who was preparing
to follow her.
"Thank you," she said softly.
Galadriel gave a small nod, "Of course, Arwen. Now go, child, or
you'll be late." Arwen smiled at her and then hurried through the door.
Galadriel watched her go and then slowly moved to follow. This by far
was not going to be easy.
Aragorn stared at the sea of people who had filled the
largest of Minas Tirith's halls. He glanced over to Legolas, who was
standing off to the side, patiently waiting for the ceremony to begin.
Gandalf stood at the centre of the slightly raised area that was at the
head of the hall. He glanced back again. Next to Legolas, Elladan,
Elrohir, Novrion, Eiliandel, Celeborn and now Galadriel, who had walked
in a few moments ago, were along one side of the raised area. Aragorn
could see that the eyes of most of the people were fixed on the elves -
few had even seen an elf, much less seven elves, in their lives. Eowyn
and Faramir were on the other side, nearly hidden in all the people.
Aragorn looked back again, and saw that the doors and the end of the
hall were being prepared to be opened. This was it.
Q: What?! LotR written by someone other than Tolkien?!
*Sigh.* If not Tolkien, then who?
Q: What, exactly, is the inevitable occurrence?
Last issue's answers: The Joys of Experimentation by
Prongsie, Issue 38; Sit on the other side of the tree so see how people
react, Issue 32.
Xara's apologies again for the absence of Random Fandom but
is currently devoting her sole attention to the removal of fish scales
from her hair. Donations of shampoo are welcome.
I am about to enter my final year of high school, and
some important questions are being raised such as "What the hell am I
going to do when I leave!?! ARGH!!!" Of course, I intend to pursue my
lifelong ambition to be a famous novelist, and am planning in
accordance with this to enrol in some university course of creative
writing. But I have a problem; there is a very big chance that I shall
fail miserably, so I need a back-up plan if that should happen. But I
can't think of one! Please help me!
Now I remember being in just such a spot when I was a lad. My
skill was with ropes, like my nuncle and my brother, but being the
youngest and all I had to help around Bag End with the gardens. One
thing and then another happened, and before I know it I'm a Ringbearer
and a Mayor and a Columnist and a few other things I didn't plan on
besides. There's a lot that you can do to go for what you want, but if
it doesn't happen, sure as sunlight something else will. Keep your
eyes open and don't be afraid to tell people what you want, and
something will come up when the time comes.
My darling Samwise,
It is once again time for my monthly love letter to you.
God knows I have talked about you a lot in this issue ... but I still
cannot get over you, my dear Samwise. Your eyes, your lips, even your
ears ... your vision haunts me ... night in and night out ... your
memory haunts me .... those precious moments that we had together (further
content edited out of this letter).
All my love,
How I've missed you. I feared after the last issue passing
without a word that perhaps you had forgotten me. Now I see it wasn't
that at all. I'm right pleased, and would say a lot more if I could.
You're in my heart and my dreams at that. Meet me at the Ivy Bush Inn,
My friend recently bought me this lovely chocolate carrot.
I have vowed not to eat it, but it looks so tasty... How do I curb my
temptation for chocolate carrots?
Well, you could always cover it in gold, if you follow me.
Then it'll be preserved for a good long time. Maybe even put it on
a chain around your neck, and find another chocolate carrot
to eat. It never hurts to have more than one.
NEED: Large sum of blue
ribbons. I've run out.
who will actually answer one of my classifieds. Like, say, this one. If
you're interested in answering this classified, please write to firstname.lastname@example.org.
WANTED: Male relative
of Nienna wearing a kilt
WANTED: Samwise Gamgee. Enough said.
WANTED: People who will participate in a 'scientific study'. Must be
willing to record everything Lord of the Rings-related they do every
day for a week. E-mail records to email@example.com
Small reward vaguely possible.
Descriptive Elements, Part VII. (Key: q.= Quenya, s. =
Sindarin, where known.)
khil- : (verb) follow. Hildor, Hildorien, Eluchil.
laure (q.), lore, glor
(s.): (noun) gold colour or light. Laurelin, Gloredhel, Glorfindel,
Loeg Ningloron, Lorindol, Rathloriel.
lhach: (noun) leaping flame. Dagor Bragollach,
lin: (verb) sing, make a musical sound.
Ainulindale, Laurelin, Lindar, Lindon, Ered Lindon, lomelindi.
Congratulations on being a hobbit fancier!!! I just knew
you would come around!!! Ahhh I would like to have them as pets,
too...or rather boy toys!!! What I would like to do to my Pip...
Blue ribbons and sheep are the two things that come to mind.
Anyway, congrats again!!!
Sheep? Holy Eru, E., I hate to think of how the subscribers
As always, I loved the issue! One thing does concern me
though, I'm very worried that some readers may have found the Frida
Interview a little incomprehensible. Not your fault of course, but
perhaps, if enough people are interested and had that problem, we could
publish an abridged version, rearranged a little, that might flow a
little easier? Just an idea.
thought of doing the same, but I couldn't think of a way to pick some
bits and leave others out without leaving the readers in utter
befuddlement. About the same amount as was there, even.
As a scientist, I feel that it is my duty to uphold the
reputation of scientists everywhere -- WE ARE BAD SPELLERS. It is a
known fact. Scientists cannot spell words like "definately" and if I
did spell it correctly, I would aid in tarnishing their reputations.
So, the reason why I had a spelling mistake in my last "Letter to the
Editor" was because I was upholding the reputation of my fellow
scientists and not because I was careless.
(Matt: think she fell for it? Prongs: Not at all, she ain't
stupid -- but I gave it a shot!)
You're right, I didn't fall for it, because your article in this
issue was free and clear of misspelled words, as was this letter (save
the word in quotes). Sneasky, she is, sneaksy and tricksy, and makes up
silly lies. Hehehehe. We still like them, we do.
Perian & co.
Ringleaders' update: Prongsie and Ivy are now tied with
22 points each, followed by Cerridwen, Eowyn Evenstar, and Padfoot.
It's not to late to start gaining points! Send your newsletter
contributions to Perian@frontiernet.net